Be the Woman You Most Admire
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Every year or so, I make goals for myself. Self-improvement goals to start the year off right.. This may sound like a New Year's Resolution, but it's not. If you ask me, New Year's Resolutions are designed to make you feel bad about yourself when you fail. Failure is inevitable, and I accept it as part of my learning process. So I don't need to have a New Year's Resolution to make me feel bad about myself. "Oh, another failed resolution this year...." After a while you would begin to wonder what is the point of doing the tradition of resolutions. besides, I feel that with all the pressure to do one, it dampens the organic process of making self-improvement goals. You are asked by everyone around you, "What is your New Year's Resolution?" (I.e. What are you planning on failing at this year?) But I DO believe in continually improving yourself, whether it is in your work ethics, interpersonal skills, connections to loved ones, personal responsibility... There is constantly room for improvement. And having a goal often keeps you on track and remind you of your quest to be a better person. Statistically (I know it's out there, just don't ask me where, or if you ask me where give me time to find it), a person is much more likely to reach their goal if they make a conscious decision to make it a goal, and even more so if they write it down. So I make goals. Plus, I have always been a rather reflective and introspective person. I guess it just comes naturally to me.
So, every year or so I make goals for myself. It doesn't happen like clockwork. And I may go a couple years without doing it. I reflect upon all the areas of my life and think of attainable ways to improve. I used to categorize each area of my life and write out 3 goals in each area. Now, it has evolved into a much simpler version of that. For example, last year I was realizing that I have a problem with "follow through." I am great at starting a project or getting inspired to start something. But somewhere along the way, it fizzles out. So my goal- or motto- for the year was a simple word: "Thorough." It was my goal to become more thorough in everything I did; at home, at work, etc. I posted the word up in a few key areas and wrote it in big block letters on my desk calendar at work. And although I know I have a lot of room for improvement still, I do feel I made strides. Or, at least, some small steps.
This past spring, well really just after the turn of the year, I started recognizing that I give a lot of other women credit for things I admire in them. I often see an attribute in another woman I admire and wish I were more like them. She always looks so put together, I wish I looked more put together. She's in such great shape, I wish I were better about exercising. She is a great photographer; she always goes to such interesting events; she plans out her menus a month at a time; she is politically involved; she really takes life by the horns; she really follows her goals.... It probably stems from my irrational belief that I am not good enough the way I am. Don't we really all feel that way? But more than just not feeling good enough, there are so many things that I am interested in but do nothing about. There are so many things to see, experiences to be had, and yet somehow I keep myself from doing them. Sure, plenty of excuses can be given, but really the only thing that stops me, is myself. For example, I have always wanted to take a cooking class. Why in the world haven't I done it yet? For crying out loud, I am 34 years old! If I don't do it now, then when? And then it hit me- the light bulb turned on- an epiphany! Why do I waste my time admiring other people* so much? Why don't I just start doing the things I most want to do and become the woman I most admire?
So I have posted on my computer: "Intentions are not Actions." Intending to take that cooking class, is not actually taking a cooking class. Intending to volunteer as a youth advocate is not actually volunteering. Intending to be involved with my city's council is not being involved with the city council.
So, really, I guess my goal is to stop making excuses and just become the kind of person that I admire. Do the things that interest me. Be involved in the things I want to be involved in. Of course, if I grab life by the horns and start something new in my life, I really need to follow through with it...
One step at a time...
*Let me interject a disclaimer here: It is still good to look up to people and admire people. But only if they serve as an inspiration to you, not if it makes you feel not good enough.
So, every year or so I make goals for myself. It doesn't happen like clockwork. And I may go a couple years without doing it. I reflect upon all the areas of my life and think of attainable ways to improve. I used to categorize each area of my life and write out 3 goals in each area. Now, it has evolved into a much simpler version of that. For example, last year I was realizing that I have a problem with "follow through." I am great at starting a project or getting inspired to start something. But somewhere along the way, it fizzles out. So my goal- or motto- for the year was a simple word: "Thorough." It was my goal to become more thorough in everything I did; at home, at work, etc. I posted the word up in a few key areas and wrote it in big block letters on my desk calendar at work. And although I know I have a lot of room for improvement still, I do feel I made strides. Or, at least, some small steps.
This past spring, well really just after the turn of the year, I started recognizing that I give a lot of other women credit for things I admire in them. I often see an attribute in another woman I admire and wish I were more like them. She always looks so put together, I wish I looked more put together. She's in such great shape, I wish I were better about exercising. She is a great photographer; she always goes to such interesting events; she plans out her menus a month at a time; she is politically involved; she really takes life by the horns; she really follows her goals.... It probably stems from my irrational belief that I am not good enough the way I am. Don't we really all feel that way? But more than just not feeling good enough, there are so many things that I am interested in but do nothing about. There are so many things to see, experiences to be had, and yet somehow I keep myself from doing them. Sure, plenty of excuses can be given, but really the only thing that stops me, is myself. For example, I have always wanted to take a cooking class. Why in the world haven't I done it yet? For crying out loud, I am 34 years old! If I don't do it now, then when? And then it hit me- the light bulb turned on- an epiphany! Why do I waste my time admiring other people* so much? Why don't I just start doing the things I most want to do and become the woman I most admire?
So I have posted on my computer: "Intentions are not Actions." Intending to take that cooking class, is not actually taking a cooking class. Intending to volunteer as a youth advocate is not actually volunteering. Intending to be involved with my city's council is not being involved with the city council.
So, really, I guess my goal is to stop making excuses and just become the kind of person that I admire. Do the things that interest me. Be involved in the things I want to be involved in. Of course, if I grab life by the horns and start something new in my life, I really need to follow through with it...
One step at a time...
*Let me interject a disclaimer here: It is still good to look up to people and admire people. But only if they serve as an inspiration to you, not if it makes you feel not good enough.
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